SO DUDLEY IS A WIZARD
by Cyn James
Summary: Dudley gets a most surprising fact: he is a wizard. Read about his encounter with a very interesting wizard, Harry's reactions, and his ADVENTURES AT HOGWARTS. Chapter 5 uploaded!
1. A teacher turns into Harry

Disclamer- I own nothing!!!!  
  
Dudley Dursley was bored. Very bored. He was sitting in one of the chairs in the Smeltings science classroom, listening to his almost-bald teacher droning on and on about molecules and atoms. Wistfully he began thinking about lunchtime, and how the good old days used to be: he and his gang (the Dudley Smashers) going Harry hunting, eating sweets, and going Harry Hunting again. Of course, life hadn't really changed except for the major part that there was no Harry, meaning no Harry hunting, no Harry smashing, and definitely no Harry torturing. He suddenly found himself wishing that he (the teacher) would turn into a Harry. Dudley smiled to himself, but the smile dimmed as the teacher continued talking. He  
  
sighed. Now he wanted to hit him with his Smeltings stick; that would put some sense into him! No sooner had the thought escaped through his ears when.. WHAM! The stick rose, and started to hit the teacher. WHAM! WHAM! Dudley gasped, horrified. The other students did the same, and some even began screaming. Even more, the teacher's once-bald head began to sprout- jet-black hair- out of his face popped- a pair of glasses- a scar- Dudley fainted. The Smeltings stick was still whacking the teacher. If Dudley hadn't fainted, and if he hadn't hid under the desk when he fainted, and if he hadn't closed his eyes and covered his bottom if he didn't faint and hide under the desk; etc., he would have seen people dressed in black robes run into the room, or at least heard them shout what he might have thought was "olive stupid" (obliviate! stupefy!). However, when he became conscious again a few minutes later, the first thing he saw would have made him faint again. Men dressed in black robes surrounded him and his desk, and a particularly frightening one- taller  
  
than the others- was looming close to him. Dudley, squeaked, and asked; "Who are you?" The people in the black cloaks began to laugh. A cold, taunting voice from the person next to him answered back, "I, boy, am the most powerful wizard of all- LORD VOLDEMORT!!!!!" He grinned evilly- but not before Dudley had jumped up-with amazing quickness for a  
  
300-pound human-and pushed past the death eaters. He ran out of the room, leaving some staring servants and a very shocked You-Know-Who.  
  
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	2. Ch. 2

Back in the classroom, Voldemort had unfortunately gotten out of his stupor.  
  
"GET HIM, YOU FOOLS!!"  
  
With this sudden eruption from their lord the death eaters obliged, and started running after the boy. It wasn't long before they managed to trap him in front of a dead end.  
  
"Cru-"  
  
"Stupi-"  
  
"Petri-"  
  
Dudley shrunk back in fear. This was it. How many times had his father cautioned him against meddling with his cousin's weirdoes? They should never had kept Harry in their house- this was all his fault. Dudley shut his eyes tightly.  
  
Then he heard a snap and three thuds. 'What?' he thought. Thinking that it was just his imagination, he chose to ignore it and shut his eyes even tighter. Another second passed. another thud.  
  
It wasn't until nearly six minutes later that he finally dared to open his eyes again. Dudley found himself staring into a scene full of unconscious death eaters and a floating stick. It zoomed right at him.  
  
"Ahhhhhhh!" he yelled.  
  
And at that exact moment his math teacher just happened to decide to walk in.  
  
(A/N So, how was it? I know its short, and it's a cliffhanger, and I haven't updated for weeks. What do you think should happen next?) 


	3. Dudley and You-Know-Who

Disclaimer- J.K. Rowling owns all.  
  
POV of You-know-who  
  
Being the kind of person he was, Voldemort had decided to disguise himself as the filthy muggle he found in the school instead of revealing his true identity. After all, the screaming lump in front of him had managed to escape him for once with his unusual yet magnificent power, and somehow defeated his deatheaters into unconsciousness. He didn't want to imagine the consequences if he entered in his normal shape. The boy was probably working up another great attack against him right now while disguising it with his screaming- this one would definitely take a lot to convince him to join his side.  
  
"Quiet!" he bellowed, sounding furious. It was actually just a diversion to try to break the boy's concentration for whatever spell he might have been seeking to do.  
  
The boy immediately stopped, although his mouth was still agape. He saw Dudley stay in that position for a moment; then his eyes darted to something behind him. Voldemort turned and ducked automatically.  
  
BACK TO POV of Dudley  
  
Dudley, as if in a trance, had formed a slow-motion picture of his teacher turning, and then narrowly missing his Smelting stick. He waited silently for his math teacher to react to the flying object.  
  
Surprisingly, his teacher was unusually calm.  
  
He sneered, "Well, my friend, we meet again".  
  
Dudley blinked in shock. Since when did his teacher sneer? Didn't he even see the floating stick at all?  
  
But his teacher didn't seem to notice his confusion.  
  
"I will admit, you are much better than I have ever imagined you to be. Harry Potter's powers will definitely not be a match for you."  
  
'Oh no!' Dudley thought. 'My teacher- he knows Harry- nobody knows about Harry's dangerous abilities- which means-' Dudley had to think for another second before realizing, 'my teacher's a one of those freaks!'  
  
Voldemort had continued talking, clearly unaware of the change of attitude Dudley had towards his so-called "math teacher".  
  
"Boy, I am offering you a chance to become of service to me. Together-"  
  
"No, I am NEVER again going to let you turn me into a pig ag-"  
  
"This is your chance in a lifetime for-"  
  
"All this time I've been thinking of you as-"  
  
"I'm warning-"  
  
"a normal teacher, but instead you betr-"  
  
"NEVER TRY TO GET ME TO LOSE MY PATIENCE, MUDBL-"  
  
Too late. The stick had inevitably risen, and soon a very flustered-looking Voldemort was lying on the floor, as were the rest of his death eaters who had joined him on this disastrous adventure.  
  
Dudley stared. There. Even though he knew (from his parents' personal experiences) the number of dangers he could expect from anything magical at that moment, he still felt a little gratitude for the stick for saving him so many times, and absently whispered a feeble "thank you".  
  
(A/N- What year do you think this should take place in? Right after Goble of Fire, in their first year, or the beginning of Harry's third year? What do you think?) 


	4. Harry receives the news

'I'm certainly glad to be back at Hogwarts', Harry thought. He and his friends were sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, happily feasting away after the long, annual Sorting Hat ritual. Suddenly, a clod of owls swarmed into the great hall, dropping lumpy packages- all seemingly to be newspaper articles- to the students below. "Why all the news all of a sudden?" Harry heard Ron mutter. "Don't know", he whispered back. It certainly was strange. but maybe there was another attack from Voldemort?! It didn't seem likely, though, as the other students were not reacting to their newly acquired newspaper articles with gasps of horror. 'No, then.' he thought. But he no longer had any time to ponder on his thoughts, for at that exact moment one landed right in front of him. He scanned the titles:  
  
ALARMING NEWS: YOU-KNOW-WHO, CONTRARY TO THE REPORTS FROM THE MINISTRY, HAS RISEN.  
  
DUDLEY DURSLEY MANAGES TO DEFEAT HIM IN A ONE-ON-ONE BATTLE!!!!!  
  
However, He-Who-Must-Not-Named has escaped.  
  
The Ministry is very upset at the current moment;  
  
they warn all magical creatures to be ready for a battle against evil.  
  
'What!' thought Harry over and over again. He looked over his shoulder- his friends were also in shock. He wasn't as surprised about the news of Voldemort: Dumbledore had said, "What may come, will come. We cannot change that". But it was the part about Dudley that staggered him most. Dudley, defeat Voldemort???? He tried to laugh, but somehow it stuck in his throat. This wasn't a joke. The Daily Prophet reported it, and Dumbledore was looking very serious, it was the truth. Suddenly, he had a flashback from the Summer vacation just one month ago:  
  
~******************** FLASHBACK ***************************~  
  
Harry potter rolled over, got out of bed, and put on his glasses. Tiptoeing out of his room, he checked to make sure that his enormous cousin and aunt and uncle were still asleep. Their loud snores confirmed his suspicions. The previous year, Harry had witnessed the return of You-Know-Who (also known as Lord Voldemort to people brave enough to say his name), one of the most feared wizards in the wizarding world, and had just barely managed to stay alive during their fearful encounter. He hoped that their next meeting wouldn't be too soon, because a meeting with Voldemort seemed inevitable.  
  
At the start of summer vacation, Ron Weasley had promised him an invitation from his parents to stay at their house through the rest of summer vacation. The letter would be delivered the muggle way, since their owl, Errol, had apparently gotten sick again. And Harry, not in the mood to get yelled at his uncle again like the year before, wanted to receive the mail from his friends out of sight from his only living relatives, who hated even the mere thought of magic, not even mentioning the thought of his magical friends. It would be a relief to finally see his friends again, and escape the Dursleys, who were being even meaner toward him especially after last year's stunt where Dudley picked up one of Fred and George Weasley's ton tongue toffees. Sighing, he started to walk outside.  
  
But just as he was about to reach the mailbox, a firm hand suddenly clamped his shoulder, and he turned around to meet the eye of a furious looking Uncle Vernon.  
  
"BOY!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, SNEAKING AROUND OUTSIDE????!!!!", he yelled. "Oh, yes, your headmaster Dumbledore informed me of your actions last term, and I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY BE A SO-CALLED "HERO" AROUND THOSE PEOPLE, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOU TO BE.." Boom! A loud explosion seemed to have occurred inside the house. Three things started to happen at once: Uncle Vernon released Harry, thinking that it was he who made the explosion, Harry scrambled away from his uncle, and Dudley Dursley walked outside in his pajamas staring at his father and yelling, "STOP IT, ALL OF YOU! YOU'RE BEING TOO NOISY!!!" Another explosion took place, and Harry just stared at his cousin, too appalled to speak. Dudley had always had tantrums like this before, but things had never exploded during one of those times.  
  
~******************** END FLASHBACK ***************************~  
  
Of course, the Dursleys had all blamed it on him for the explosions, not wanting to believe that 'these abnormalities' came from anyone other than Harry, namely Dudley. And thankfully for the wizarding world, most of their neighbors were on vacation for the summer holidays. Surprisingly, though, Harry had not received a letter concerning 'the improper use of magic during the summer holidays' Now he knew what had happened with Dudley on that fateful summer day. Dudley was a wizard. Harry wondered how his relatives, with all their anti-magical thinking, had reacted to this news when they found out. 


	5. Fudge's terrifying experience in hospita...

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns everything.  
  
  
  
Dudley awoke to find himself in a small room full of beds and curtain linings. Still blinking the sleep away from his eyes, he sat up, to see a woman dressed in all white barging into the room and bustle around the room, as if looking for something. Sighing, he started to lie down again, but not before the woman ran over, took him by the scruff of his hospital pajamas and forced an ice down his back.  
  
"AAAAAOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Dudley howled long and hard.  
  
"Don't worry, dear," the nurse replied. "This is only the preliminary procedure. More is a-coming, Hun."  
  
Dudley's eyes popped out like a jack-box; he made a small noise, and then fainted. His head hung limply on the pillow. 'Wow, I never knew he could take this harsh,' thought the nurse, shrugging. 'I was only kidding him; who would've thought that he could faint from an ice cube? I really should stop playing these jokes..one day, oh I don't know, they could result in tragic accidents!' And with that she walked off to treat her next unlucky patient.  
  
Suddenly Minister Fudge barged in, took one look at Dudley's pitiful form, and screamed painfully. "Nurse! Doctor!" he yelled. "What- what happened to him? How can he ever attend the meeting in that pig-like shape???" A nurse, frightened by the Minister of Magic's hysterical screaming, came in. She took one look at Dudley and glanced curiously at the Minister.  
  
"Are you the patient's Father, Mr.?" She asks politely, not knowing the consequences she will forever suffer.  
  
Fudge looked at her, slowly, steam began to come out of his ear. His blood boiled and screamed, "MY SON???!!! MY SON??!!! THAT PIG OF A LIKE .... LIKE.... THING IS MY SON!!!! YOU NEED GLASS LADY!"  
  
The nurse jumped 5 feet in the air, ran out screaming, "Call the Ministry of Magic! Somebody has apparently broken into the Room 54! Help!!!!!!!!" Shortly afterwards several wizards and witches apparated into Room 54. "Why, Minister Fudge, did you see the criminal who broke in?" Fudge, apparently confused, said, "But I was here all along! Who could have possibly wanted to break in with that pathetic creature in here?" He nodded towards Dudley. The Department of Defense was taken aback. Their spokesperson spoke up. "Mr. Fudge, I presume that you are mistaken? This-" he nodded toward Dudley "-boy. is our hero. He defeated You-Know-Who, remember? And that.. is his normal form."  
  
"HE WHAT?????!!!! Bullocks!!" Fudge fumed, "nonsense, totally unacceptable!"  
  
"Why, here it is," one of the D.O.D pupils reached into his robe pocket, and handed a newspaper to Fudge. Fudge snatched the newspaper from the pupil. He scanned the articles. Then in big block letters, he found.  
  
Boy Defeats You-Know-Who one to one!!!  
  
We might have a second Harry Potter, maybe even greater than Harry Potter. For 15-year-old boy, Dudley F. Dursley, battled You-Know-Who. However, You- Know-Who has dissapperated before the Ministry could further investigate this phenomenon. You-Know-Who is still alive...  
  
Fudge attempted to rip the newspaper, but decided not to when he saw the swarm of witnesses and Ministry workers in front of him. He forced a not- very-convincing smile on his face, and said politely, "Yes, you are right. I seem to have been very mistaken a minute ago- I will talk to the boy alone as soon as he wakens."  
  
Soon Fudge was left alone- with the fat lump in front of him. He sighed, and sat down, wondering just HOW he could break the news to the boy, and if he even COULD to such a disgraceful creature. Suddenly, he looked up to see the once-hysterical nurse return, now very calm.  
  
She smiled sweetly, hiding her hands behind her pudgy waist. Then.....  
  
"DIE FIEND!!!" she shouted loudly, bringing out what seemed like an iron broom behind her. "I WILL NOT LET YOU SPOIL MY HOSPITAL'S NAME!!!! YOU FIENDISH THING!!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" She swung the iron broom like a club at Fudge. He was terrified, as you might have guessed.  
  
"Homicide iron broomer!!!!! SHE'S KILLING ME!!! HELP ME, HELP!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!! YOU THING OF DEVIL, GET OFF, GET YOUR FILTHY CLUB OF A BROOM OFF ME!!!! OR YOU WILL FACE THE CONCEQUENCES!!!!" Fudge spat back. "I AM THE MINISTER OF MAGIC, CAN'T YOU SEE???" he thundered again.  
  
"FILTHY INTRUDER!!! I'LL GRIND YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS AND EYES CLO- "The nurse stopped motion in mid-air, finally deciphering the Minister's last words to her. Her club of a broom hanging from her hands, a weird expression on her face. She looked at Fudge, coughed and laughed nervously at his grim face. "Minister, why, I didn't know you were coming..." She fainted on the spot.  
  
A/N- THANKS SO MUCH TO DIANA- SHE WROTE A LOT IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!! OH, and R~E~V~I~E~W!!!!!!! 


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